There is a lack of information around why people are the way they are. I think I cracked the Matrix upon posting my last newsletter. (Dan Koe also helped with his banger newsletter)

The reason we create so many problems for ourselves is a serious lack of curiosity. I realized just how damn important this is when I look at anyone who has big issues (such as narcissism) and understand they have a surprising lack of time to reflect.

Think about it.

What does every human have in common?

We are:

So, what's the problem?

When there are billions of individuals seeking what is best for themselves, we have a serious problem.

There is simply not enough resources to go around the table, and most have decided that what's mine is mine and you should earn your own.

This is tribal instinct, the inability to work with another, especially when they don't go with the herd.

This leads me to my true story:

When I was 24 years old, I could see just how different I had become from my family.I travelled 3 states away for a couple years to chase love. Love didn't workout but I discovered something more important:

My worth

I was seeking self-improvement before I started talking about it through a fitness routine.

This was great for me, but I could suddenly see that the same people who raised me were wrong in so many of their actions, it was a dominance hierarchy where the older you were, the more people should listen to you (even if the choice went against the bettering of everyone)

Even worse, nobody respected the opinion of women in my family.

This was a big deal for me, especially after I watched my uncle tear apart his daughter.

This leads to the most important lesson everyone can learn.

There are so many different choices of words and how we say them, we make problems for ourselves unintentionally by voicing our opinions, advice, and sarcasm.

The better choice is to ask questions to understand more, but not just any questions.

Why questions create a justification of one's own feelings, not create curiosities.So what should you be saying to spark curiosity?

"What" questions.

"Whatever" - famous line from kids in school.

What are you thinking right now?

This question directs you to focus on your thoughts.When you sit with your thoughts, you can ask them "what causes these thoughts?"

You start a creative process to fix whatever doesn't add up for you.

What's the problem with "why" questions?

When someone asks someone outside of them "why" it is to create an agreement in their mind to make sense of how someone understands something.

When you ask someone "What does that do for you?" they are put into prefrontal cortex mode.

This system works to answer what's next.

This is why our subconscious is so strong, because we have these systems built in to answer "then what?" so we don't have to think it through.

We hardly recognize when we are creating patterns that can ensure our downfall.

The quality of questions we ask can turn someone into a hated enemy or great ally.

We unlock new perspectives when we start with what instead of why.

If someone has a big problem with their life, what do you usually ask them?

"why do you feel that way?"

They will justify it with the reasons and beliefs that they feel.But, if you ask them "what happened to you to make you feel this way?" you get a very different and more explained answer.

Being more curious instead of being judgemental will reveal the real answer for both parties. When we judge, we assume it from the perspective we have cultivated over years of programming.

When we ask why, we are trying to further our own understanding of what someone is trying to explain to us, and it usually will not match up with our belief system unless it's a shared behavior.

When we ask what, we guide someone to the answer they need to unlock that understanding.

What does self-improvement look like to me?

When you ask this, you are answering two questions:

In this way, you learn about all that you know about it, and if you dig deeper, you find ways to go further about it.

These were just a few of the techniques I've learned in the last year that have transformed me into a completely different person.

What can I do to learn more than I know already?

This is a prime driver for curiosity.Searching for answers you never knew is an idealistic childlike mentality that 100% of people can benefit from.I can give you some vague direction here:

When you create something, whether it be a vision in your head or reality, you gain knowledge.

Every piece of work you make will bring you closer to understanding yourself.

What can I do to make my life better in a year?

Seriously. When you zoom out and give yourself more time than 30-60 days, you don't put it off. You can do anything in a year:

Side question from me to you: When is the last time you gave yourself enough time to accomplish a goal that's bigger than yourself?

This is crucial to knowing what you can do to make yourself better in a year. Nobody ever became who they were in 1 day.

The more important questions you ask yourself, the higher your level of curiosity will grow.

You are capable of being smarter than you were when you make the process about you instead of about the external validation you will receive from increasing your knowledge.

Stay curious as send me any questions you have in reply to this email.

Thank you, Thanson